I HAVE DIED EVERYDAY WAITING FOR YOU

For the few days, she had been asking herself the same thing over and over again. Had she chosen correctly? Had breaking Edward’s heart to turn her mind towards Jake destroyed something that could have been soulmates? Bella learned from a young age that soulmates didn’t exist, her mother and father were the keys to that. They had loved each other, had her and then turned down separate paths. Her mother remarrying, that just needed to have someone in her life. Maybe her mother was happy; maybe she was just doing it to have someone to love her, Bella would never know. But she thought about it, was it the same way with Edward? Had she truly loved him and he returned that love? Or was it a toxic game of fate that brought them together for Bella to realize just how toxic the vampire community and those within it was? They believed in mates, people that were their soulmates and meant to them the moment they were born. Each one had one, and for a short time, Bella thought that maybe she was that for Edward. But the moment he left her, broken and alone in the woods, which had been something someone destined for you should have never been able to do.

When she thought about it, she didn’t believe Jake could ever do that to her. He’d never leave her alone, but a part of her wondered. She had heard something about imprinting, a little thing that the shapeshifters did towards one person, be it human or another shifter, but she had learned that Jake hadn’t found his. All that time she spent with him, she wondered if he would find his true imprint and leave her. Her heart seemed to break at that thought, but she thought about it more and more. If that would be the case in the future, she’d stumble through it then. For now, she’d live in the present and take it day by day.

But after what happened with Jacob that day, learning that he had imprinted on her, and then the whole thing with Rosalie, Bella felt worse than she had the day she decided. But she knew where she belonged, and that was with Jacob Black. So that day, while heading to school she decided that she would finally talk to Edward, she had been avoiding him as if he would attack her at any minute, but today would be different. As she pulled up in the parking lot in her beat up orange truck, she threw herself out and started gathering her bag and books, ignoring the stares of the students that had since learned of Edward and Bella’s breakup.